Rudo runonyanya kukoshesa paunofunga nezvekupinda muhukama hwakareba hunopera. Ichokwadi, 88 muzana yeAmerica vanotaura kuti rudo ndicho chikonzero chakakosha chekufunga kuroora. Tinoda kunzwa tanoda, uye tive nerudo, mudiwa wedu.
Ukama huri kutarisana nekudzvinyirira kupfuura kare. Mukuwedzera kune kuoma kwenguva refu kwezvinhu zvakadai semari, hupenyu huri kuchinja uye mhuri hune simba, vakaroorana vanotarisanawo nematambudziko ekubatana mupfungwa uye kuchengetedza ukama hwepedyo huri mupenyu.
Tinotarisa kune vamwe vedu kuti tinyaradzwe, titsigire uye tive pedyo nekurwadziwa patinenge tisina kuwana rudzi rwekubatana muukama hwedu. Vashandi vanogona kuzviwana vakanamatira pamararamiro asina kunaka ekubvisa uye, nekufamba kwemazuva, tanga kufunga kuti havasisina kureva kuva pamwe chete.
Kuparadzana Usati Waroora
IAmerican Psychological Association (APA) inofungidzira kuti kurambana kwave kwakaramba kwakasimba, pakati pe40 ne50 muzana yevakaroorana muUnited States. Mimwe mishumo inotanga kuratidza kuti mamiriro ekurambana angave ari ekuderera, izvo zvinogona kuonekwa kune zvimwe zvinhu zvakadai se:
- Vanhu vanomirira kusvikira vakura kuti varoore
- Vakaroorana vanosarudza kugara pamwe chete panzvimbo yekuroorana
- Kuwedzera kune vakaroorana vanobatana mukupa zano pamwe chete
Sezvo vakaroorana vachiwana hukama hwavo vari mumatambudziko, vangauya kuzotora kuti zvinhu zvapera uye hazvikwanisi kupora kana kugadziriswa. Zvisinei, zvinogona kuva zvine musoro uye zvinobatsira vakaroorana kufunga nezvekuparadzana pavanonzwisisa danho ripi rekutora muchato mumhuri yavo.
Kusarudza paKuedza Kuparadzana
Kuparadzanisa muedzo kunogona kuva sarudzo kune vakaroorana vari kutambura muukama hwavo asi vasina chokwadi kana kurambana ndicho chakanaka chinhano chekutora. Kana vavakaroorana vasingagari, vanogona kusarudza kugara munzvimbo dzakasiyana sezvo vachiedza kushanda kuburikidza nezvinetso zvavari mukati mavari uye mukati mehukama.
Vamwe vanhu vanofunga kuti kuparadzaniswa kwekuedzwa kunofamba "kwechimwe chikamu kunze kwemukova" uye ibwe rinokurumidza kurambana kana kuti kuguma kwekupedzisira kwehukama. Mhuri imwe neimwe yakasiyana uye kune zvikonzero zvakasiyana-siyana zvekupinda mukutengesa kwekutongwa. Kurambana hakusi kudzivirirwa kune avo vakaroorana. Kutaura zvazviri, kurangana kwehukama kunogona kuva kwekubatsira zvikuru panguva ino apo vashandi vari kurarama vari voga uye vanogona kubviswa pane zvisina kunaka mararamiro avanoonana kune vamwe vachirarama pamwe chete.
Kumbira Mudiwa Wako Kuti Apiwe Mazano Paanoparadzaniswa
Iwe unogona kushamisika kana pane imwe nguva yakanaka yekutaura nemumwe wako pamusoro pekupa mazano kuti uone kana iye achienda newe. Ichokwadi ndechokuti nguva ndiyo yakanaka kukubvunza kana iwe uchifunga kuti kupa mazano kunogona kubatsira ukama hwako. Apo iwe wakaparadzana, asi uchiri kutenda kuti kuroorana nekupa mazano kunogona kubatsirana noukama hwako, mubairo wekukumbira mudiwa wako kuti atore pakupa mazano angangodarika ngozi.
Saka iwe unobvunza sei shamwari yako? Ramba uchifunga kuti inowanzotya iyo inodzivisa vanhu kuti vasapinda mazano ekupa mazano. Iwe kana wako wega unogona kutya uchinzwa kurwadziwa kwepfungwa mukati mekuita kana kuti uchionekwa se "munhu akaipa" kana kuti "wakavhunika." Tora nguva yekufungisisa pamusoro pekutya kwako pamusoro pekugadzirisa mazano uye izvo waunofanirwa kutya pakutanga.
Rega nzvimbo yokuti imi mose mutaurire pachena pamusoro pezvinetso uye, kana zvichibvira, edzai kutsvakurudza mazano pamwechete kuti muwane mumwe wamunofunga kuti munogona kunge munofara naye.
Kuwana Mupi Wenyu
Kune vazhinji vanopa mazano uye vamwe vanachiremba vanotaura kuti vanoshanda nemadzimai asi havana kudzidziswa zvakakwana mubasa iri rakasarudzwa, naizvozvo zvichakubatsira iwe kuti uite zvishoma kutsvakurudza usati wasarudza mazano kumamiriro ako akasiyana. Chimwe chinhu chinokosha chokufunga nezvacho ndechokudzidziswa kwevanopa mazano zvakanyatsopindirana neukaro uye hukama hwehukama. Iwe unoda kuziva kuti mutungamiri waunosarudza achakwanisa kunzwisisa chimiro chisina kunaka chehukama kana achikwanisa kukubatsira kudzikama nekufamba mumvura yehukama hukama nekuporesa.
Usatya kutaurirana nevamwe vasarudzo vakasiyana-siyana munharaunda yako uye mubvunze mibvunzo pamusoro pebasa ravanopa. Paunenge uchitaura nemupi wezano, mibvunzo yaungada kuibvunza inosanganisira:
- Chii chaunodzidzisa muukama hwokupa mazano?
- Wange uri kushanda kwenguva yakareba sei nemadzimai?
- Iwe unoshanda chete newanano uye hukama here?
- Iwe unonzwa wakasununguka kushanda nevarume vakarambana here?
- Chii chatinogona kutarisira patinotanga kupa mazano newe?
Kutora nguva yekubvunza mibvunzo yevanopa mazano seiyi inogona kukubvumira kuwana kunzwisisa zviri nani kwekudzidzisa kwavo kwakananga, ruzivo rwavo pakushanda nevarume nemadzimai uye kuti vangakwanisa sei kukubatsira iwe neshamwari yako munguva ino yakaoma.
Ipi Kupikurira Kunogona Kupa
Imba yemudzimai Dana Vince, MA, LPC / MHSP, inoratidza kuti kune zvakawanda zvakabatsirika vaviri vanogona kuwana mukupa mazano pavanoparadzaniswa. Sezvakaita kune vakaroorana avo vari kurarama pamwe chete, anoti, "Kupa mazano kunogona kukubatsira kunzwisisa matanho akaitika akaendesa kunzvimbo ino, kuti awane sei kujekesa uye kukura kubva pane zvakaitika kuitira kuti maitiro ekare arege kudzokororwa."
Sv. Vince anoti, nokuda kwekukakavadzana kukuru, kunyanya kuparadzana kunogona kubatsira kubvisa kukakavara, zvichibvumira kubatana kweukama kushanda senzvimbo yakachengeteka kutanga kutarisa izvo zviri kuitika mukushanda kwavo. Anoti, "Kupa mazano kungabatsirawo kuunza kujekesa uye rugare kune hutano hwakaoma huchiita pamusoro pehukama."
Kana iwe newawakaroorana naye ikozvino makaparadzaniswa, kurangana kwehukama kunogona kukupa zvimwe zvezvinotevera:
- Nzvimbo yekuderedza kukakavako kuripo
- Nguva yekuwana kunzwisisa pamusoro pezvingangodaro zvakakonzera kusunungura
- Nzvimbo yakachengeteka yekuona uye kunzwa kuti kukakavara kuri kukonzera sei mumwe nomumwe
- Nhungamiro yakavimbika yekufamba nenzira dzakaoma kugadzirisa pamusoro pehukama
- Nzvimbo yekugadzirisa zvinetso zvakaoma kumativi ose matanho ekutora
- Ita pfungwa yekutarisira kubvumirana
- Ruzivo rubatsiro rwekuporesa nekugadzirisa ukama
- Nhungamiro yekugadzirisa kuchinja kwakanaka kudzokera kumba
- Batsira vakabatana vakaramba vachiwedzera kuvaka hukama hwakasimba, hwakanaka
Shoko Rinobva
Vakaroorana vakaparadzana, kana kusvika kune imwe nzvimbo yekuparadzanisa, hapana mubvunzo kuti vari mumatambudziko. Manzwiro emumwe nemumwe anogona kunge achishanda panguva yakareba apo tariro yekuchinja nekuvandudzika kunopera. Vakaroorana pakupa mazano vanogona kukupa iwe newawakaroorana naye nzvimbo yakakwana uye nguva inonyanya kukosha kuti uone matanho aunofanira kutora muhukama hwako. Kuporesa nekugadzirisa kunogona kuva sarudzo nekubatsirwa nemudzidzisi wakaroorana wakarovedzwa.