Kubvunzurudza naMelissa Orlov
Melissa Orlov ndiye munyori weThe ADHD Effect on Marriage: Kunzwisisa nekuvandudza Ukama Hwako Mumatanho matanhatu . Anonyorawo "Relationships" yako yeAdDitude Magazine, inoita bhuku rakakurumbira paAdHDmarriage.com, uye iri munyori mubhuku rawakaroora nekusavhiringidzwa naNed Hallowell, MD, uye Sue Hallowell, LICSW. Orlov akanga ane mutsa akakwana kupindura mibvunzo inobatsira vazhinji vedu ADD.
.vaverengi vanorarama apo mumwe kana vose vari vaviri muukama kana muwanano ane ADHD.
Mubvunzo: Ndedzipi dzimwe nzira dzezviratidzo zveDHD dzinogona kukanganisa ukama?
A: DHD zviratidzo zvinowedzera zvakajeka uye zvigadziriswa mapato ekuroorana umo mumwe kana vose vari vaviri vane ADHD. Chero bedzi ADHD ichiramba isingateereri kana kutapudzwa, maitiro aya anogona kusiya vaviri vari vaviri vasina kufara, vasurukirwa, uye vachinzwa kupererwa neukama hwavo. Vanogona kurwisana kakawanda kana, nekusiyana, vachidzivisa kubva kune mumwe nemumwe kuti vadzivirire pane zvinokuvadza. Mhinduro yakawanda kune avo vasiri ADHD musikana ndeyekunyanya kutarisa uye kubata ("nzira chete yekuita chero chinhu chakaitwa pano") apo ADHD mudiwa anowedzera zvishoma ("anoda kuti ave nemumwe munhu anogara achitsamwa ? ")
Kana ukama hwako hwakakanganiswa neHDHD, unogona kuona chero ipi zvayo nzira dzakatevera:
- Kuramba kusingaperi uye / kana kutsamwa
- Kuparadzirwa kwemabasa emhuri kunonyanya kusina kufanana
- Mumwe murume anoita basa rekugara achiita basa ("mubereki" basa) asi rimwe racho rinogara risina kukwana kana risina hanya (basa re "mwana")
- Kushamwaridzana kwako kwakanga kushamisa uye iwe hauna kukwanisa kuwana zvakakwana kune mumwe nemumwe, iye zvino mumwe mudiwa anenge asingateereri zvachose
- Iwe unokakavara nguva dzose, kunyange pamusoro pezvinhu zvoupenzi
- Mumwe wavo haaiti seanorangarira zvibvumirano zvakanaka kana kutariswa kunze
- Mumwe mukana ane dambudziko guru kutevera kuburikidza nezvinhu izvo zvakabvumidzwa
- Ukama hwepabonde hwakaputsika
Izvo zvinosuruvarisa chikonzero ndechokuti kurambana uye kusagadzikana kwewanano yemhuri kune vakaroorana vanobatwa neHADH inenge inopetwa kaviri yevakaroorana vasingabatanidzwi neHDHD. Mashoko akanaka ndeokuti kunzwisisa basa iro ADHD iri kuita muhukama kunogona kutendesa imba yako.
Mubvunzo: Chii chakaita kuva muDHD muwanano yemhuri?
A: Kune mhando yezviratidzo zve ADHD. Vamwe vanhu havana dambudziko ne ADHD mune imwe kana humwe humwe hupenyu hwehupenyu hwavo, hwakadai sebasa, asi vane dambudziko kune vamwe, sehukama. Vaya vane zviratidzo zvakaoma zvikuru vanoona kuti ADHD inopindira nezvose zvese.
Pakati pezvimwe zvinhu, munhu ane ADHD uyo ari mumhuri inotambudzika anganzwa:
- Pachivande kana kunyanya kuora mwoyo, sezvo kuchengetedza hupenyu hwezuva nezuva huri pasi paunenge uine ADHD inotora mamwe mabasa kupfuura vamwe vanoziva
- Kuzviisa pasi kune mumwe wako "ari kutamba zvinhu," kunyanya kana mubereki / mwana ane simba ari munzvimbo
- Usingadiwi kana asingadiwi, nokuti anoramba achinzwa shoko raanofanira "kuchinja" kana kuita zviri nani
- Kutya kukundikana zvakare. Sezvo ukama huri kukura, hunowirirana kusagadzikana kweDHD kunobatsira kuzvidya mwoyo pamusoro pezvingaitika nguva inotevera apo mumwe anokundikana
- Zvakasiyana. Vanhu vane ADHD vanonzwisisa kuti nyika haifaniri kuvashandira nenzira imwechete iyo inoitira vamwe. Pfungwa dzavo dzinowanzotamba "mhirizhonga", "mheremhere" kana "yakazara," uye saka vanoona ruzivo nyika nenzira iyo dzimwe nguva dzisinganzwisisi zvakanaka. Imwe jaya rakatsanangura ubongo hwake hweDHH "seine Library ye Congress mumusoro wako isina kadhi kadhi."
Mubvunzo: Zvakadini nemunhu asiri ADHD? Chii chinobatsira kuti ADHD mudiwa asanzwisisa nezvezvakaitika kune munhu asiri weDHD partner?
A: Sezvakaitwa naDHD mukaro, ruzivo rwusina ADHD rwunofambisa rutivi rwunobva kune dambudziko rakaoma kusvika kune zvisingatarisirwi.
Pakupera kwakanyanya kwechiitiko ndeyemudzimai anozviona achishamisika uye asingafari kuti murume wake ADHD haasi kumubatsira zvikuru. Pamugumo usingakanganwiki mudiwa anonzwa akaneta zvakakwana nemitoro yaanofunga nokuti anofunga kuti mudzimai wake haagoni kuzviita. Anenge asingazvidi iye pachake nemurume wake uye anoramba achitsamwa uye achishungurudzika nenhamo yake.
Muongorori wevasina-ADHD kanowanzofambira mberi kubva kune vanofara kuvhiringidzika kutsamwa kushaya tariro. Anogona kunzwa:
- Kusurukirwa nokuti mudzimai wake akavhiringika zvikuru kuti abhadhara chero chii zvacho
- Hasha uye manzwiro akavharwa - kutsamwa kune vasina kutenderwa ADHD musikana haakwanisi kuchinja kushamwaridzana kwavo kana kutevera kumitoro kunogona kupedzana nekubatana kwakawanda. Mukuedza kuzvidzora izvi, munhu asiri ADHD waanogona "kuifukidza mukati."
- Kushungurudzika-zvakanyanya kuita mabasa, kwete rubatsiro rwakakwana, uye kutsamwa kukuru kunogona kuita kuti hukama hune utsinye kune munhu asiri ADHD
- Wakaneta, usine tariro uye wakasuruvara - zvinogona kuva hondo chaiyo kugara nemunhu asina kutarisira ADHD yake. Mushure mechinguva, kudzokorora kwekuti maitiro eAdHD asina kuchengetwa anoratidzirwa muhukama hunoita kuti unzwe sokuti hapana chichazochinja.
Mubvunzo: Mubhuku rako, iwe unotaura nezvekuparadza-chiratidzo-kupindura. Iwe unokwanisa kutsanangura kuti izvi ndezvipi, nzira iyo inogona kukuvadza muukama, uye kuti ungadzora sei muenzaniso wakaipa uyu?
A: Maitiro ndeokupa mhosva DHD zviratidzo zvezvinetso zvose muwanano asi izvi hazvisizvo. Vose vakaroorana vanoita basa rinokosha mumatambudziko avo emhuri. Zviratidzo zveHADH zvinokonzera zvisingafungirwe, kazhinji zvinonyengera, kushungurudzika pamuchato, pamwe nekusawirirana kwakawanda. Kuparadzwa kunouya kubva mumuenzaniso wakazara, kunyange-imwe inosanganisira zviratidzo, mhinduro kune zviratidzo, uye zvino mhinduro kune mhinduro.
Chienzaniso chemuenzaniso chakakomberedza chiratidzo chekuvhiringidza, chimwe chezviratidzo zvakapararira uye zvinokosha zveDHD. Mumwe musikana anokanganisa ADHD kakawanda haasi kungobhadhara mumwe wake. Kana mudzimai wacho asingazivi nezveHADH ndiye angangodaro achishandura kusava nehanya kwekuti "haana hanya neni zvakare." Anoramba achiwedzera kutsamwa pamusana pokusava nehanya kwake uye anotanga kuva mupfupi uye kutsamwa naye. Anonzwa kutsamwa asi haazivi mhedzisiro yaro, saka anorwadziwa uye anotsamwiswa nehasha dzake ... uye vanopinda mukuderera, kusimbisa kukwira. Kune rumwe rutivi, kana vaviri vacho vachiziva nezveHADH, mumwe mudzimai asina hanya anogona kutaura kuti "wakambovhiringidzika munguva pfupi uye ndiri kunzwa kusurukirwa." Tinogona kuenda kune rimwe zuva uye tinopedza nguva yakafanira pamwe chete? " Iwe unogona kuona kunyatsonzwisisa mamiriro acho ezvinhu, uye kupindura nenzira iyo inobvuma kuvapo kwechirwere cheHADH, inoita kusiyana kukuru. Asi musanzwisise ini - chiratidzo chiri pakutanga kwekufamba, saka zviratidzo zvinoda kutarisirwa, kana kushanda zvakapoteredza kana vaviri vane matambudziko varikuvandudza ukama hwavo kwenguva refu.
Mubvunzo: Iwewo unotsanangurira vakaroorana kuti haisi nyaya yekuedza zvakaoma, asi "yekuedza zvakasiyana." Izvi zvinorevei?
A: Iwe unogona kutora ruzivo rwako pamusoro pe ADHD uye sarudza mazano achakubatsira iwe kubudirira. Ndinodana idzi "ADHD senzira" maitiro. Semuenzaniso, kuedza zvakaoma kurangarira kuita basa rimwe nguva mune ramangwana zvichida hazvizoshandisi nokuti chiratidzo "kukanganisa" kuchapinda munzira uye basa rinogona kukanganwika. Kune rumwe rutivi, kuisa kema pafoni yako iyo inokuyeuchidza nezvebasa iri panguva yainofanira kuitwa ichashanda zvakanaka. Mudzimai weHADH angave akavhiringidzika mukati, asi alarm inounza basa racho mupfungwa dzake panguva yakakodzera.
Mubvunzo: Kune vakaroorana avo vari kurwisana ne "ADHD Nzira" muhukama hwavo, asi ndiani anonzwisisa zvakawanda pamusoro pezviitiko zviri kuitika, ndezvipi zvimwe zvinhu zvinokosha zvavanofanira kuziva kuti vafambire mberi, kugadzirisa uye kuvakazve muchato?
- Uyu ndiwo miviri yemunhu. Imi mose munofanirwa kutora mhaka yezvinhu zvenyu uye kuchinja kuitira kuti mugone kubudirira. Asi, iwe haugone kuva nemhosva yekushandurwa kweshamwari yako, kusanganisira kana kusaedza mishonga yeAdHD.
- Dzidza zvose zvaunokwanisa pamusoro pekuti iwe wakasiyana sei uye zvakadii nemudiwa wako. Ichakupa iwe tsitsi huru, kushivirira uye kunyange kukurudzira.
- Kugadzirisa chirwere che ADHD. Mishonga chete hazviiti. Ndinonyora nezvemakumbo matatu ekurapa kune ADHD mukomana muhukama mubhuku rangu, uye pazvinenge zvakanyanya kuvhara pano ndinopa mazano achifunga maererano nehutano hwakawanda hwekurapa.
- Funga nezvekuvandudza hukama hwako panzvimbo yekuchengetedza imba yako. Izvi zvichakuchengetedza iwe pane zvakakosha chaizvo - kuti iwe vaviri sei munofanirana kune mumwe nemumwe - kwete pane kugadzirisa ukama hwenyu. Kugadziriswa (ndiani ari kuita icho) ndiko kunowanzobatwa nematambudziko akawanda.
- Pakupedzisira, kuroorana kune mufaro. Sezvaunoshandisa kuburikidza nhanho nhanhatu dzekuvakazve ukama hwako huwandu hwandinotsanangura mubhuku rangu, rangarira kuwana chimwe chinhu chekupemberera kana kuseka kakawanda sezvinobvira. Ita nguva yakasikwa yekusika mufaro, kwete nguva yekugadzirisa zvinhu. Imi mose munoda rubatsiro kubva pamubato unotora kuchinja maitiro akavakwa kwemakore.
> Kwakabva:
> Melissa Orlov. Kubvunzurudza / email tsamba, Nov. 4, 2010.