Mhando dzakasiyana dzekubatanidza Michina

Zvinyorwa zvekubatanidza zvinoratidzwa nenzira dzakasiyana dzekubatana uye kuzvibata muhukama. Pamberi pehuduku, izvi zvinyorwa zvekubatanidza zvinotarirwa kuti vana nevana vanobatana sei. Mukukura, michina yekubatanidza inoshandiswa kurondedzera maitiro echisungo muhukama hwepano. Iko pfungwa yekubatanidza maitiro yakakura kubva padzidziso yekubatana uye tsvakurudzo yakavapo muma1960 nema1970. Nhasi, vanoona nezvepfungwa vanowanzocherechedza maitiro mana ekubatanidza.

Chii Chinonzi Attachment?

Kunyanya kushamwaridzana hukama hwepamweya hwepfungwa hunosanganisira kupesana kwekunyaradza, kutarisira, uye kufara. Midzi yekutsvakurudza pamusoro pekubatanidza yakatanga nemafungiro aFrud pamusoro porudo, asi mumwe muongorori anowanzozivikanwa sababa vekubatanidza mazano .

John Bowlby akazvipira zvakanyanya kutsvakurudza kune pfungwa yekubatanidza, kurondedzera "sehupenyu hunogara huri pakati pevanhu."

Bowlby akagovera maonero ehupfungwa nehupfungwa kuti izvo zvakaitika kare muhutano zvakakosha pakukurudzira kukura uye mufambiro gare gare muupenyu. Kushamwaridzana kwedu kwepakutanga kwakagadziridzwa muhuduku kuburikidza nehucheche / muchengeti weukama.

Mukuwedzera kune izvi, Bowlby aidavira kuti chibatanidziro chaiva nechinangwa chekushanduka-shanduka; iyo inobatsira mukupona. "Nzira yekuita kuti vanhu vave nehukama hwakasimba kune vamwe vanhu [ndicho] chinhu chinokosha chevanhu," akatsanangura kudaro.

1 - Zvimwe zvekubatanidza

Bowlby aidavira kuti pane zvisikwa zvina zvakasiyana-siyana zvekubatanidza:

1. Proximity Maintenance - Chido chokuva pedo nevanhu vatinonamatira.
2. Nzvimbo Yakachengeteka - Kudzokera kune chibatanidzwa chekubatanidza chekunyaradza nekuchengetedzwa mukati mekutya kana kutyisidzira.
3. Nheyo Yakachengeteka - Chigadziro chinosungirirwa chinoshanda sechikonzero chekuchengeteka kubva kumwana anokwanisa kutsvaga mamiriro akapoteredza.
4. Kuparadzanisa Kushungurudzika - Kuzvidya mwoyo kunoitika musipo kwechimiro chekubatanidza.

Bowlby akaitawo zvitatu zvakakosha pamusoro pekubatanidza nheyo.

Chokutanga, akaratidza kuti kana vana vakakurira vane chivimbo chokuti avo vanonyatsochengeta vachabva vawanika kwavari, havakwanisi kutya kune avo vanorerwa vasina chivimbo .

Chechipiri, aidavira kuti chivimbo ichi chakavakirwa panguva yakaoma yekukura, mumakore ehucheche, muhucheche, nekuyaruka. Zvinotarisirwa izvo zvinoumbwa munguva iyoyo zvinowedzera kuramba zvisingachinji kune hupenyu hwose hwomunhu.

Pakupedzisira, akaratidza kuti izvi zvinotarisirwa zvinogadziriswa zvakananga nekuziva. Mune mamwe mazwi, vana vanotanga kutarisira kuti vatarisi vavo vachava nehanya nezvidikanwi zvavo nekuti, mune zvakaitika kwavari, avo vanochengeta vakagamuchira kare.

2 - Kuongororwa Kunoshamisa kweAinsworth

Mumakore ekuma1970, nyanzvi yezvepfungwa Mary Ainsworth akapfuurira mberi nebasa raBilllby rakasimbiswa mune iye zvino anonzi "Strange Situation" kudzidza. Chidzidzo chacho chaisanganisira kutarisa vana pakati pemakore gumi kusvika pamakumi mapfumbamwe nemakumi matatu ekupindura mamiriro ezvinhu kwavakasara pfupi vari voga ndokuzoonana zvakare naamai vavo.

Chishamiso cheAinsworth cheMamiriro ezvinhu chakatevera izvi zvakakosha:

1. Mubereki nemwana vari voga muimba
2. Mwana wacho anoongorora nzvimbo yacho nevabereki
3. Mumwe mutorwa anopinda mumba, anotaura nemubereki, uye anoswedera kumwana
4. Mubereki anonyarara achibuda mumba
5. Mubereki anodzoka uye anonyaradza mwana

Kubva pane izvi zvinotarisirwa, Ainsworth akagumisa kuti paiva nemitambo mikuru mikuru yekubatanidza: kuchengetedzwa kwakachengetedzwa, kusungirirwa kwemaitiro-kusachengeteka, uye kusachengetedzwa-kusachengeteka kusungirirwa.

Vatsvakurudzi Mukuru naSoromoni vakawedzera chechina chekubatanidza chiziviso chinonzi kusagadzikana-kusachengetedzwa kusachengeteka. Kuongorora kwakawanda kwakatsigira mhedziso yaAinsworth nekutsvakurudza kwakawedzera kwakaratidza kuti maitiro aya okutanga anokwanisa kubatsira kubatsira kufanotaura zviito munguva pfupi muupenyu.

3 - Kusungirirwa kuburikidza neHupenyu

Usati watanga kutaurirana mhosva dzehukama nevabereki vako, zvakakosha kuziva kuti michina yekubatanidza yakaumbwa panguva yehuduku haisati yakangofanana kune iyo inoratidzirwa muvanhu vakuru vane rudo. Nguva yakawanda yakapera pakati pecheche nehukuru, saka zviitiko zvinopindira zvinoitawo basa guru mukubatana kwevanhu vakuru.

Vaya vanorondedzerwa sevanonyanya kushamwaridzana kana kudzivisa pavanenge vachiri vaduku vanogona kuchengetedzwa zvakasimba sevanhu vakuru, nepo avo vane ruvimbo rwakachengeteka muhuduku vanogona kuratidzira kusachengetedzwa kwekuchengetedza mhando muhukuru. Kutsika kwakanyanya kunofungidzirwawo kuti inotora chikamu chechikamu pakubatanidzwa.

Saka chii chinogona kuita senyaya yekurambana kana kuvhiringidza kwevabereki kunobata mukugadzirwa kwekubatanidza mitambo? Mune rumwe ruzivo, Hazan naShaver vakawana kuti kurambana kwevabereki kwaiita sekusina kufanana nesimboti. Pane kudaro, kutsvakurudza kwavo kwakaratidza kuti chirevo chakanakisisa chekushamwaridzana kwevanhu vakuru ndechekufunga kwevanhu pamusoro pehukama hwehukama hwavo nevabereki vavo pamwe neukama hwevabereki vavo.

Asi kutsvakurudza munharaunda iyi kunoratidza kuti maitiro akaumbwa muhucheche ane hunokosha hwehukama hwehukama huripo. Hazan naShaver vakawanawo zvitendero zvakasiyana-siyana pamusoro pehukama pakati pevanhu vakuru vane maitiro akasiyana-siyana. Vanhu vakachengetedzwa zvakachengetedzeka vanotenda kuti rudo rukuru runogara ruripo. Ambivally vanhu vakabatanidzwa vanoti vanowira murudo nguva dzose, asi avo vasina kudzivirira mafashoni vanotsanangura rudo sevashoma uye kwenguva duku.

Kunyange zvazvo tisingakwanisi kutaura kuti maitiro ekutanga maitiro akafanana nemunhu mukuru ane rudo rwekutsvaga, tsvakurudzo yakaratidza kuti kushamwaridzana kwepakutanga kwemaitiro kunogona kubatsira kufanotaura maitiro ehutano mukukura.

4 - Kuchengetedzwa Zvakachengeteka Zvimwe

Sevana:

• Vanokwanisa kuparadzana kubva kumubereki
• Tsvaka nyaradzo kubva kuvabereki pavanotya
• Anokomborera kudzoka kwevabereki vane mafungiro akanaka
• Anoda vabereki kuvasingazivi

Sevanhu Vakuru:

• Iva netariro, hukama husingaperi
• Tendai kuva nekutenda kwakanaka
• Vari kunyarara kugovana manzwiro neshamwari neshamwari
• Tsvaga rubatsiro rwevanhu

Vana vanochengetedzwa zvakasimba zvinowanzowedzera kushungurudzika apo vatarisi vavo vanobva uye vanofara kana vabereki vavo vachidzoka. Apo vanotya, vana ava vachatsvaka nyaradzo kubva kumubereki kana mutarisiri. Kukurukurirana kunotungamirirwa nemubereki kunogamuchirwa nyore nevana vakachengeteka uye vanokwazisa kudzoka kwomubereki ane maitiro akanaka. Kunyange zvazvo vana ava vanogona kunyaradzwa kune imwe nzira nevamwe vanhu mukushayikwa kwemubereki kana mutarisiri, vanonyatsoda vabereki kuvasingazivi.

Vabereki vevana vakachengeteka vanobatanidzwa vanofarira kutamba zvakawanda nevana vavo. Uyezve, vabereki ava vanoita zvakakurumidza kune zvinodiwa nevana vavo uye kazhinji vanoteerera vana vavo kudarika vabereki vevasingateteki vana. Zvidzidzo zvakaratidza kuti vana vakachengetedzeka vakachengeteka vanonzwira tsitsi mune dzimwe nguva dzehuduku. Vana ava vanorondedzerwa sevanopesana, vasingagadzirwe, uye vakakura kupfuura vana vane maitiro asina kunaka kana kudzivisa mitambo.

Paunenge uchigadzirisa kuchengetedzwa kwakachengeteka nevatarisiri ndeyezvakanaka uye zvinotarisirwa, sezvo Hazan naShaver vakacherechedza, hazviiti nguva dzose. Vatsvakurudzi vakawana zvinhu zvakasiyana-siyana zvinobatsira pakusimudzirwa (kana kusakwanisa) kwekuchengetedzwa kwakachengeteka, kunyanya kubvuma kweamai kune zvinodiwa nechechecheche panguva yegore rokutanga hwehupenyu hwemwana. Amai vanopindura vasinganzwisisiki kana vanopesana nemabasa emwana vanowanzobereka vana vanoongorora zviduku, vachichema, uye vari kunyanya kunetseka. Amai vanogara vachiramba kana kusazvidza zvinodiwa nechecheche vavo vanowanzobereka vana vanoedza kudzivisa kusangana.

Sezvo vanhu vakuru, avo vanochengetedzwa zvakasimba vanoita kuva nekutenda, hukama hurefu. Zvimwe zvinonyanya kukoshesa zvevanhu vakachengetedzwa zvakachengetwa zvinosanganisira kuzvikudza kwakanyanya , kufara noukama hwepedyo, kutsvaga rubatsiro rwevanhu, uye kukwanisa kugovana manzwiro nevamwe vanhu.

Mune rumwe ruzivo, vatsvakurudzi vakawana kuti vakadzi vane chekuchengetedzwa yakachengeteka vane maonero akanaka pamusoro pehukama hwavo hwekuda kudanana kupfuura vamwe vakadzi vane kuchengetedzwa kwekusachengetedzwa kwemavara.

Vanhu vangani vanozvitsanangura sevanonyatsobatanidzwa? Muchikoro chekudzidza naHazan naShaver, 56 muzana yevanhu vakapindura vakazviti ivo vakachengeteka, asi 25 muzana vakaonekwa sevanodzivisa, uye 19 muzana sevanonyanya kufunganya / vane hanya.

5 - Ambivalent Attachment Maitiro

Sevana:

• Iva nehanya nevasingazivi
• Icho chinotambudza zvikuru apo vabereki vanobva
• Usaita seunonyaradzwa kana vabereki vachidzoka

Sevanhu Vakuru:

• Anopesana kuva pedyo nevamwe
• Kunetseka kuti mudiwa wavo haavada
• Ive kushungurudzika kwazvo apo hukama huri kupera

Vana vanove vakanyatsobatanidzwa vanowanzove vachishushikana zvikuru nevasingazivi. Vana ava vanoratidza kushushikana kukuru kana vakaparadzana nemubereki kana mutarisiri, asi havaoneki vakavimbiswa kana kunyaradzwa nekudzoka kwemubereki. Mune zvimwe zviitiko, mwana wacho angangomira mubvunzo kumuramba mubereki kuburikidza kuramba runyararo, kana kuti angaratidza pachena kurwisana zvakananga kumubereki.

Maererano neCassidy neBerlin, kushamwaridzana kwemajoka kunowanzojairika, vane 7 kusvika ku15 muzana yevana vari muUnited States vachiratidza chidimbu ichi chekubatanidza. Mukugadziriswa kwemashoko anonyanya kushandiswa, Cassidy neBerlin vakaonawo kuti kuongororwa kwekucherechedza kunogara kuchibatanidza kusagadzikana kwekuchengetedzeka kwemajeri kunowanikwa vana vashoma. Sezvo vana ava vachikura, vadzidzisi vanowanzotsanangurira sevanonamatira uye vanodarika.

Sezvo vanhu vakuru, avo vane chimiro chekushamwaridzana chinonyanya kushamiswa vanowanzonzwa vasingadi kuva nepedyo kune vamwe uye vanonetseka kuti mumwe wavo haaitizve manzwiro avo. Izvi zvinokonzera kukanganisa kazhinji, kazhinji nokuti hukama hunonzwa hunova uye huri kure. Vanhu ava vanonzwa vakasuruvara zvikuru mushure mekuguma kwehukama. Cassidy naBerlin vakatsanangura imwe nzira yekudzivirira iyo vanhu vakuru vanobatanidzwa vanobatanidza kuvana vaduku sechinhu chekuchengeteka.

6 - Kudzivisa Kushamisira Zvinhu

Sevana:

• Regai kudzivisa vabereki
• Usatsvaga hukama kana kunyaradzwa kubva kuvabereki
• Ratidza zvishoma kana kuti kwete kuda vabereki pamusoro pevasingazivi

Sevanhu Vakuru:

• Unogona kuva nezvinetso nehukama hwepedyo
• Iva nemafungiro mashoma muhukama hwemagariro evanhu uye rudo
• Usingadi kana kukwanise kugovera pfungwa kana manzwiro nevamwe

Vana vane shungu dzekudzivirira maitiro vanoedza kudzivisa vabereki nevatarisi. Kuzvidzivirira uku kazhinji kunova kunyanya kutaurwa pashure pokunge pasina. Iva vana vangasada kurangarira kubva kumubereki, asiwo havatsvaki nyaradzo kana kutaura. Vana vane chisungo chekudzivirira vanoratidza kusafarira pakati pemubereki nemumwe munhu asina kufanira.

Sezvo vanhu vakuru, avo vane usingazivi vanowanzova nekutambudzika nehukama hwepedyo uye hukama hwepedyo. Vanhu ava havaiti mari yakawanda muhukama uye ruzivo rushoma kudzvinyirirwa kana ukama hwapera.

Vanowanzodzivisa kushamwaridzana nekushandisa zvikonzero (zvakadai sekushanda kwemaawa akawanda), kana kuti vangafungidzira nezvevamwe vanhu panguva yepabonde. Kutsvakurudza kwakaratidzawo kuti vanhu vakuru vane musingatauri chimiro chekutsvaga vanobvuma uye vanogona kuita zvepabonde zvepabonde. Zvimwe zvinowanzoitika zvinosanganisira kukundikana kubatsirana neshamwari pamwe nenguva dzinonetsa uye kusakwanisa kugovana manzwiro, mafungiro, uye manzwiro nevanobatsirana.

7 - Disorganized Attachment Maitiro

Pazera rimwechete:

• Ratidza musanganiswa wekudzivisa uye kusazvibata maitiro
• Inogona kuonekwa yakaoma, yakavhiringidzika, kana inetseka

Pamakore matanhatu:

• Inogona kutora basa revabereki
• Vamwe vana vanogona kuita semutarisiri kumubereki

Vana vane chirongwa chisina kuchengetedzeka chekusachengetedzwa chinoratidzira chinoratidza kusava nemafambiro akajeka. Zviito zvavo uye mhinduro kune avo vanochengeta zvinowanzova kusanganiswa kwezviito, kusanganisira kudzivisa kana kudzivisa. Vana ava vanorondedzerwa sevari kuratidza maitiro akaoma, dzimwe nguva vachiita sevanopesana kana kuti vanotya pamberi pekuchengeta.

Main uye Soromoni akarondedzera kuti kusawirirana maitiro kune chikamu chevabereki kungave chiri chinhu chinowanzoita nenzira iyi yekubatanidza. Mukutsvakurudza kwakazotevera, Main uye Hesse vaitaura kuti vabereki vanoita sezviwero zvekutya uye kuvimbiswa kumwana vanobatsira mukusavhiringidzika maitiro ekubatanidza. Nokuti mwana wacho anonzwa zvose akanyaradzwa uye achitya nemubereki, zvinokanganisa zvinoguma.

Shoko Rinobva

Kunyange zvazvo vanhu vakuru vane rudo vangave vasina kunyatsoenderana nekubatana kwevana vaduku, hapana mubvunzo kuti ukama hwedu hwepakutanga nevanotarisira vanoita basa mukubudirira. Nekunzwisisa zviri nani basa rekubatanidza, iwe unogona kuwana kukoshesa kukuru kwekuti matanho ekutanga muupenyu hwako angakanganisa hukama hwevanhu vakuru.

> Sources:

> Bowlby, J. Nzvimbo Yakachengeteka: Clinical Applications of Attachment Theory. London: Routledge; 2012.

> Salter, MD, Ainsworth, MC, Blehar, EW, & Wall, SN. Mienzaniso yekubatanidza: Chidzidzo chePfungwa nezveShoko Rakatadza. New York: Taylor & Francis; 2015.