Maitiro avanoita zvepfungwa nezvekunyora nekutsanangura rudo
Sei vanhu vachiwa murudo? Sei dzimwe nzira dzorudo dzichigadzikana uye vamwe vachikurumidza kupera? Nyanzvi dzezvepfungwa uye vatsvakurudzi vakagadzira pfungwa dzakasiyana-siyana dze rudo kurondedzera kuti rudo runoumba sei uye runotsungirira.
Rudo ndirwo manzwiro evanhu, asi kunzwisisa kuti nei uye nei zvichiitika hazvirevi nyore. Ichokwadi, kwenguva yakareba, vanhu vazhinji vakaratidza kuti rudo chakanga chiri chimwe chinhu chakashamisa, chisinganzwisisiki, uye chemweya kuti sayenzi inzwisise zvakakwana.
Izvozvi ndezvimwe zvemashoko makuru anotsanangurwa kutsanangura rudo uye zvimwe zvido zvepfungwa.
Kuda vs. Kuda
Nyanzvi yezvepfungwa Zick Rubin akaronga kuti rudo rukuru runoumbwa nezvinhu zvitatu:
- Attachment
- Kutarisira
- Kushamwaridzana
Rubin aidavira kuti dzimwe nguva tinowana huwandu hwekuonga nekuyemura vamwe. Tinonakidzwa nekupedza nguva navo uye tinoda kuva navo, asi izvi hazvirevi kukodzera rudo. Pane kudaro, Rubin akataura izvi sechichifadza. Rudo, kune rumwe rutivi, rwakadzika, rwakanyanya, uye rinosanganisira chido chakasimba chehukama hwepedyo nekubatana. Vanhu vari "vari mukati" vanofambidzana pamwe chete, asi avo vari "murudo" vanotarisira zvakawanda maererano nezvinodiwa nemumwe munhu sezvavanoita ivo pachavo.
Kusungirirwa ndicho chikonzero chekugamuchira kutarisirwa, kubvumirwa, uye kubatana mumuviri nemumwe munhu. Kutarisira kunosanganisira kukoshesa mumwe munhu anoda uye kufara sezvakawanda zvako.
Kushamwaridzana kunoreva kugovana kwepfungwa, zvido, uye manzwiro kune mumwe munhu.
Kubva pane tsanangudzo iyi, Rubin akagadzira mhinduro yekuongorora mafungiro pamusoro pevamwe uye akawana kuti zviyero izvi zvekuda uye rudo zvakapa rubatsiro rwekubata kwake rudo.
Netsitsi vs. Passionate Rudo
Maererano nenyanzvi dzepfungwa Elaine Hatfield nevamwe vaaishanda naye, kune maviri emhando dzemhando dze rudo:
- Rudo runyoro
- Passionate love
Rudo ruremekedzo rwakaratidzwa nekuremekedzana, kushamwaridzana, rudo, uye kuvimba. Rudo runyoro runowanzobva mumanzwiro ekunzwisisana uye nekuremekedzana.
Rudo rwekuda mwoyo runoratidzwa nemanzwiro akaoma, kukwezva zvepabonde, kufunganya, uye rudo. Apo izvi zvakanyanya manzwiro anokonzerwa, vanhu vanofara uye vanozadzika. Unreciprocated rudo inotungamirira kumanzwiro ekuora mwoyo uye kuora mwoyo. Hatfield inoratidza kuti rudo rworudo runopera, runowanzogara pakati pemwedzi 6 ne30.
Hatfield inoratidzawo kuti rudo rworudo runomuka apo tsika dzetariro dzinokurudzira kugumburana murudo, kana munhu wacho achizadzisa pfungwa dzako dzepakutanga dze rudo rwakanaka, uye kana iwe uchinge uchinge wakasimudzirwa hukama hwepanyama mukuvapo kweumwe munhu.
Zvakanaka, rudo ruchida zvino runotungamirira kune rudo ruregerero, runogara rusingagumi. Kunyange zvazvo vanhu vazhinji vanoda hukama hunobatanidza kuchengeteka uye kugadzikana kwetsitsi ne rudo rukuru, Hatfield anotenda kuti izvi hazvisi nyore.
The Wheel Model Model of Love
Muna 1973 bhuku rinonzi The Colors of Love , nyanzvi yezvepfungwa John Lee yakafananidza mafashoni erudo kune ruvara rwendo.
Sezvo pane mavara matatu makuru, Lee akaratidza kuti pane zvitatu zvepamusoro zvemhando dze rudo. Iyi mitatu mitatu yorudo ndeyokuti:
- Eros: Izwi eros rinobva pashoko rechiGiriki rinoreva "chido" kana kuti "kukanganisa." Lee akaratidza kuti rudzi urwu rworudo runosanganisira zvose mumuviri uye mupfungwa.
- Ludos: Ludos inobva pashoko rechiGiriki rinoreva "mutambo." Iyi nzira yorudo inogamuchirwa seinotamba uye inonakidza, asi haisi iyo yakaoma. Avo vanoratidzira rudzi urwu rwe rudo havana kugadzirira kuzvipira uye vanononoka nehukama hwakanyanya hwepedyo.
- Storge : Storge inobva muzwi rechiGiriki rinoreva "rudo rwepanyama." Ichi chimiro cherudo chinowanzomiririrwa nerudo rwemhuri pakati pevabereki nevana, vanun'una, uye hama dzakawedzerwa. Rudzi urwu rworudo runogonawo kusimbisa ushamwari huripo vanhu vanogovana zvido nekuzvipira zvishoma nezvishoma vanokudzirana rudo.
Achienderera mberi nemirairi yeguruji, Lee akarondedzera kuti sezvo mavara makuru aigona kubatanidzwa kuti aite mavara akawedzerwa, izvi zvitatu zvepamusoro mararamiro erudo zvinogona kubatanidzwa kuti zvive mapfumbamwe akasiyana-siyana echidimbu rudo. Somuenzaniso, kubatanidza Eros naLudos zvinokonzera mania kana rudo rukuru.
Lee 6 Nzira dzekuda
- Mitatu mitatu yekutanga:
1. Eros - Kuda munhu akanaka
2. Ludos - Rudo semutambo
3. Storge - Rudo sehukama - Zvitatu zvechipiri mitambo:
1. Mania (Eros + Ludos) - Kucherechedza rudo
2. Pragma (Ludos + Storge) - Ichokwadi uye rudo runoshanda
3. Agape (Eros + Storge) - Rudo rusina udyire
Triangular Theory of Rudo
Nyanzvi yezvepfungwa Robert Sternberg yakaronga chirevo chetatu chinoratidza kuti kune zvikamu zvitatu zvorudo:
- Kushamwaridzana
- Passion
- Kuzvipira
Kusiyana kwakasiyana kwezvinhu zvitatu izvi kunoguma nemhando dzakasiyana dze rudo. Semuenzaniso, kubatanidza ukama hwepedyo nekuzvipira kunoguma mukuratidza rudo, asi kubatanidza kuda uye kushamwaridzana kunoita kuti ude rudo.
Maererano neSternberg, hukama hwakavakwa pazvinhu zviviri kana kupfuura huri hutsungirira kupfuura humwe huri pane chimwe chinhu. Sternberg anoshandisa izwi rokuti rudo rwekuda kurondedzera kusanganisa kushamwaridzana, kuda, nekuzvipira. Kunyange zvazvo rudzi urwu rworudo rune simba uye rusingagumi, Sternberg inoratidza kuti rudzi urwu rworudo haruna kuwanikwa.
> Sources:
> Hatfield, E., & Rapson, RL Rudo, zvepabonde, uye ukama hwepedyo: Maitiro avo epfungwa, biology, uye nhoroondo. New York: HarperCollins; 1993.
> Lee, JA The Colors of Love. New York: Prentice-Hall; 1976.
> Rubin, Z. "Kuenzanisa rudo rukuru." Zvinyorwa zveMunhu uye Social Psychology, 1970, 16: 265-273.
> Sternberg, RJ The Triangle of Love: Kushamwaridzana, Kushushikana, Kuzvipira. New York: Basic Books; 1988.