Vana vanofanira kuva nekutya kwakanaka kwevasingazivi.
Vana vanofanira kuva nekutya kwakanaka kwevanhu vasingazivi. Asi vana vanorambidza kushamwaridzana kwevanhu vanobatana nehutano havatyi vevasingazivi.
Kutaura zvazviri, ivo vakasununguka pamusana pevanhu vasingazivi kuti havazofungi nezvekukwira mumotokari yemumwe munhu kana kubvuma kukokwa kumusha wemusingazivi. Kushamwaridzana kwavo kune vanhu vavasingazivi kunogona kuva chinetso chakakomba chekuchengetedza kana chirwere chisina kutorwa.
Hapana Chinodiwa Nevatariri Kune Vatorwa
Vana vazhinji vanotsvaka nyaradzo uye vanobatana nevanonyanya kutarisira. Saka munhu ane makore 4 ane utano uyo anowira panhandare yekutamba uye anogadzira mabvi ake angangotarisa Amai, Baba, kana muchengeti uyo akamutora kunzvimbo yekutamba.
Asi mwana ane chirwere chinopesana nehutano hwekushamwaridzana angaita kuti asvike kumunhu asina kukwana wose kutsigirwa mupfungwa. Anogona kuudza munhu anofamba achipfuura achikuvara uye anokumbira rubatsiro kana angagara pamubhedha wemumwe mutorwa ndokutanga kuchema.
Izvi zvinogona kuvhiringidza zvikuru kuvanhu vakuru. Uye zvinogona kunge zvakashungurudza mutarisiri wemwana kutarisa mwana achitaurirana nevanhu vakuru vasina kujaira pasina kunonoka kwekanguva.
Zviratidzo zvekudzivisa kusagadzikana kwekutambudzika
Kurambidza kubatana kwehutano kushungurudzika kwaiva pakutanga kwechikamu chekuita basa rekubatanidza dambudziko . Asi, shanduro yechishanu yeDeagnostic uye Statistical Manual yakadzivisa kubvisa chirwere chekubatana kwevanhu munharaunda zvakasiyana zvakakwana.
Kuti uwane zvinotarisirwa kuita kuti vanhu vasabatanidzwe chirwere chekudzivirira, mwana anofanira kuratidza muenzaniso wekuita unosanganisira kusvika nekusangana nevanhu vakuru vasina kujaira uye pamwe chete zviviri zvezvinotevera:
- Kuderedza kana kusava nehanya nekuswedera uye kubatana nevanhu vakuru vasina kujaira
- Kunyanya kufanana manzwiro kana maitiro emunhu asingashandisi nemitemo yemitemo uye yakakodzera yemiganhu yevanhu
- Kuderedza kana kusisipo kutarisa kumashure nemunhu mukuru wekuchengeta mushure mokunge aenda kure, kunyange mumamiriro asingazivikanwe
- Kuda kuenda kune munhu mukuru asina kujaira ane zvishoma kana kwete kushamisika
Mwana achangosangana nemitemo yekudzivisa kusagadzikana kwehutano hwehutano kana maitiro ako asingatauri nechinetso chekudzora. Saka kana mwana ane ADHD angasimuka panzvimbo yekutamba uye akanganwa kuve nechokwadi kuti Amai varipo, mwana anorambidzwa kusangana nehutano hwehutano achadzungaira asina kupa amai pfungwa yechipiri nokuti haanzwi kudiwa kwekuti ave nechokwadi.
Uyezve, mwana achangosangana nemirairo yekudzivisa kusagadzikana kwevanhu munzanga kana akawana nhoroondo yekuregererwa sezvinopupurirwa nechimwe chezvinotevera:
- Kuregererwa kwevanhu mune zvekugara kunosanganisira kusava nekushaya kwekuda kwekuda zvinodiwa mupfungwa zvekunyaradza, kukurudzira, nekudanana kunosangana nevanhu vakuru vanotarisira
- Kudzokorora kushandiswa kwevanonyanya kuchengetedza avo vanogadzirisa mikana yekuumba zvigadziridzo zvakasimba
- Kurera mune zvisiri izvo zvinogadzirisa mikana yekuita zvisungo zvakasarudzwa, zvakadai sesangano rine vana vakakura-kune-vane hanya
Kana mwana akaratidza mufambiro kwemwedzi inopfuura 12, chirwere chacho chinonzi chichiripo. Inogonawo kurondedzerwa seyakakomba apo mwana anoratidza zviratidzo zvepamusoro.
Nemhaka yekudzivisa kusagadzikana kwehutano hwekushamwaridzana kunokonzerwa nokuregererwa, zvinogona kuitika pamwe nezvimwe zvinetso zvakadai sekuziva uye kuchera mutauro kana kusagadzikana.
Dambudziko Kusiyanisa Ndiani Akavimbika
Vana vaduku havakwanisi pakuziva zvikara. Asi, vazhinji vavo vanoramba vakangwarira pamusoro pevanhu vavasingazivi.
Vatsvakurudzi vakawana kuti vana vanoita kuongororwa kwekutanga kwekutendeseka kwomunhu kunobva pakuonekwa kwomunhu.
Vanokwanisa kuita mamwe maitirwo pamusoro pekuti mutorwa anoratidzira mutsa kana kuti anoreva kubva pane chiso chomunhu.
Asi uropi hunofungidzira zvidzidzo zvakawana kuti vana vanopesana nehutano hwekushamwaridzana nevamwe havagoni kusarura pakati peumwe munhu anotarisa mutsa uye akachengeteka kune mumwe munhu anotarisa uye asina kuvimbika.
Matambudziko avo nekutarisana kwemaziso angaita kuti vave nechido chekutaura kune vausingazivi kana kusangana nevanhu vasina kujaira sezvo vachifunga kuti munhu wose akanaka.
Vana Vanoda Mutsa Kubva kune Wose
Vana vane chirwere chekuchengetedza chinetso chekushamwaridzana nevanhu vanoda chido kubva kune vamwe. Sezvo vasingakwanisi kuziva kuti ndiani angave ari munhu akachengetedzeka uye asiripo, vangaratidza rudo kuna ani zvake anovanyatsoteerera.
Hazvisi zvisizvo kuti mwana anyengetedze mutorwa muchitoro kana kutora hurukuro pamusoro pehutano hwemunhu nemunhu asina kujairika pane imwe nzvimbo yekutamba. Vangatogara pasi nemumwe mhuri paki iyo sekunge vakokwa kumupikiniki.
Zvikonzero Zvinobatsira Kuti Urege Kuvharidzirwa Nehutano Hwakagadzikana
Kurasikirwa nehutano hwekushamwaridzana nehutano hahuitirwi nekuiswa muzuvacare. Uye mwana haazozvikudzi nokuti amai vake vakamuisa mumubhedha wake dzimwe nguva paakanga achichema.
Vana vanongokura vachidzivisa kusavhiringidzika kwevanhu munzanga kana vakaregererwa zvikuru sevana.
Kunyangadza mucheche kunovhiringidza kubatana nekubatana. Uye izvozvo zvinonyadzisa kukwanisa kwavo kukudziridza hukama hwepedyo nevatarisiri gare gare muupenyu.
Vana vacheche vanodzidza kuvimba nevanotarisira avo apo vatarisi vavo vanoita zvavanoda. Mwana anochema anowana zvokudya anodzidza kuti anogona kuvimba naamai vake. Kana kuti mwana ari kuchema uyo anotora uye akadzora anoziva kuti baba vake varipo nokuda kwake.
Kana vana vachiregererwa, vangave vasingashamwaridzani nevatarisi vavo. Mwana ari kuchema uyo asina hanya angasvika pakudavira kuti hakuna munhu aripo nokuda kwake. Kana mwana akasiyiwa asingatarisirwi nguva yakawanda nekushamwaridzana kwevanhu vashoma haagoni kuumba chero rudzi rweukama nemutarisiri. Somugumisiro, mwana iyeye angave ari pangozi yehutano hwekubatanidza.
Asi, havasi vana vose vasina hanya vanobudirira kudzivisa kusawirirana kwehutano hwevanhu. Vakawanda vavo vanopfuurira kuumba hukama hune hutano kunze kwezvinhu zvakanyanyisa.
Vabereki Vabereki uye Vabereki Vasingabatanidzi Vanofanira Kuva Pakuona
Kurambidza kushamwaridzana kusangana nehutano kunokonzerwa nekuregererwa mukati memwedzi mishoma yekutanga yehupenyu. Hapana humwe uchapupu hwokuti kusaregeredza kunotanga mushure mezera remakore maviri kunobatsira kune chirwere.
Saka vabereki vanokurudzira, vanasekuru navanasekuru, vabereki vanorera, kana vamwe vanochengeta vabereki vanotanga kumutsa mwedzi yemwana kana kunyange makore mushure mekuberekwa vanogona kuziva zviratidzo. Kungoti mwana haasisirizve kurega hazvirevi kuti haasi pangozi yekukudziridza chinamatira chinetso.
Dambudziko racho haringazovi pachena kusvikira kwenguva refu mushure mekuregererwa kwezvinhu zvakagadziriswa. Saka mubereki anokurera anomutsa ane makore 8 angaona zviratidzo zvechirwere. Kana kuti, mwana akatorwa kubva kunherera angaratidza zviratidzo zvakapoteredza makore mashanu.
Nechekudzivirira sei Dhiyabhorosi Kushamwaridzana Kunetseka Kuchinja Kwemakore
Vana vanotanga kazhinji vanotanga kuratidza kusava nekutya kune vanhu vasiri vanhu vasingazivi. Vanogona kubata maoko nemumwe mutorwa kana kugara pamakumbo evanhu vaangosangana navo.
Munguva yemakore ekutanga, vana vanorambidza chirwere chekubatana kwevanhu munzanga vanoenderera mberi vachive vakasununguka nevasingazivi asi ivo vanotangawo kuratidza kufarira kutsvaga. Saka munhu ane makore mana anogona kuita mhere-mhere panzvimbo yekutamba kuti awane vanhu vasingazivi kuti vamuone.
Munguva yepakati pehuduku, vana vanowanzoratidza mazwi nemashoko asingazivikanwi uyewo inuthentic kutaura kwekunzwa. Saka mwana ane makore 9 anogona kuseka apo vamwe vanoseka kana angaita seasuruvara kuti ashandise mamiriro acho ezvinhu, pane kungofanana nemanzwiro echokwadi. Anogonawo kutaura zvinhu zvakadai, "Ndinoda kuenda kumba kwako," achangosangana nomumwe munhu mutsva.
Vachiri kuyaruka vanodzivisa kusawirirana mune zvekugarisana kwevanhu vanogona kunge vane matambudziko nevezera ravo. Vanowanzova nehukama hwepamusoro nevamwe uye vanowanzotambura nekupesana. Vanoramba vachiva nemafungiro asina kunaka kune vanhu vakuru.
Ndezvipi Zvakajairika Zvisingabatsiri Maitiro Anokonzerwa Nesangano?
Kurasikirwa kwevanhu munzanga kunobata chirwere hakusi nyore. Vana vakakurira mumasangano akaita sherera, kana avo vakagara munzvimbo dzakawanda dzekuchengetedza vana, ndivo vari pangozi yakakura yekuvandudza mamiriro acho ezvinhu.
Ongororo dzakawana kuti vanenge makumi maviri kubva muzana yevana vari mumatambudziko akawanda vanoita kuti vasagadziriswe nehutano hwevanhu. Vana vazhinji vane nhoroondo yekushungurudzwa kana kuregererwa havaiti chero rudzi rwekubatanidza dambudziko.
Ngozi uye Migumisiro Yakasanganiswa Nekudzivisa Kunetseka Kwemagariro Evanhu
Zvakakosha kuti vana vave nekutya kwakanaka kwevasingazivi uye vanhu vanogona kukuvadza. Saka kukwidza mwana nekudzivisa kusagadzikana kwevanhu munzanga kunogona kuvhiringidza nekutyisa kune vanochengeta.
Munhu ane makore mana angangodzungaira nemumwe mutorwa ari muchitoro kana ane makore ane makore 9 angapinda mumba momuvakidzani asingambofungi kaviri pamusoro pezvimwe zvinogona kuchengetedzwa.
Vatarisiri vari kurera mwana nekudzivisa kusagadzikana kwehutano hwemagariro vanofanira kuchengetedza nguva dzose kuti vaone kuti mwana haazviisi mumamiriro ezvinhu anokuvadza. Vanogona kudikanwa kupindira kakawanda kuti vadzivise mwana kutaurirana nevanhu vaasingazivi.
Vana vane dambudziko rokubatana vanoedza kurwa nehukama hwakanaka nevadzidzisi, vadzidzisi, vatarisi vezuva, vezera, nevamwe. Maitiro avo angangotyisa kumhuri kana vamwe vabereki vasingazivi nezvechirwere.
Panguva ino, pane zvishoma zvitsvakurudzo pamusoro pezvenguva refu zvinokonzerwa nekudzivisa kusavhiringidzika kwevanhu munzanga. Hazvisi pachena kuti zvingaita sei munhu paanenge ari munhu mukuru.
Kurapa Kwekuchengetedzwa Kwemagariro Evanhu
Zvakakosha kune vana vane zvinetso zvekubatana kuti vagamuchire kuchengetedzwa kwakasimba kubva kune vakachengeteka vanochengetedza. Mwana anoenderera mberi kubva kubva kumusha akachengetedza kumusha kana kuti uyo anoenderera mberi kuti aite zvigaro haafaniri kuvandudza.
Asi kana kushandiswa kwakakwana kwakagadzirwa, mushonga unogona kutanga kubatsira kusimbisa hukama pakati pemwana uye mutarisiri wekutanga.
Kushungurudzika kwekubatanidza hakudi kuwedzera zviri nani pachavo. Saka zvakakosha kutsvaga kurapwa kwezvenyanzvi. Mishonga inowanzobatwa nerapi iyo inosanganisira zvose mwana uye vanochengeta. Zvirongwa zvezverapa zvakasiyana-siyana, zvisinei, zvichibva pane zvinodiwa nemwana zvakasiyana nezviratidzo.
Kana iwe uchifungidzira kuti mwana wako ari kutarisira angave ane chirwere chekubatanidza, taura nevana vevana vako. Mwana wako angangodaro akatumirwa kune unyanzvi hwehutano hwepfungwa nokuda kweongororo yakazara.
> Sources:
> American Psychiatric Association. Kuongororwa uye nhamba yehuwandu hwehutano hwepfungwa (5th ed.). Arlington, VA: American Psychiatric Publishing; 2013.
> Bennett J, Espie C, Duncan B, Minnis H. Kufananidzira Kuongorora kwevana Kunzwisiswa kwekusashamwaridzana kwehukama. Clinical Child Psychology uye Psychiatry . 2009; 14 (4): 595-618.
> Harris PL, Corriveau KH. Vechiduku Vechivimbo Chokusarudzwa Kwevana mumashambadziri. Culture Evolves . 2011: 431-446.
> Miellet S, Caldara R, Gillberg C, Raju M, Minnis H. Disinhibited reactive attachment zvirwere zvisingaiti zvirwere zvehutano hwevanhu kubva pazviso. Psychiatry Research . 2014; 215 (3): 747-752.