Dzidza Kusiyana Pakati Pakubatsira nekugonesa
Kana uine munhu waunoda uyo akadhakwa kana muropa, iwe unenge uchinzwa kuti iwe unogona kuita. Al-Anon isangano rakanakisisa rinobatsira avo vanodikanwa nevaya vanodhakwa kwete kungoita zvinetso zvekudhakwa kwewadikanwa asi anotaura nezvebasa rinoitwa nevanodiwa mukugonesa maitiro akadaro. Asi iwe ungaziva sei kana uri kuve wakagadzirisa kana kuti chii chauri kuita chirikubatsira rubatsiro?
Kana iwe ukawana kuti wave wakagadzirisa, iwe ungamisa sei?
Ngatitaurei pamusoro pemusiyano pakati pekugonesa nekubatsira uye zvino kukupa mazano anobatsira uye mienzaniso pamusoro pekumira kwekubatsira iwe doro rako.
Kubvumira vs Kubatsira Doro
Kazhinji pavanenge vachiedza kubatsira, shamwari neshamwari dzemhuri zvinoita kuti mamiriro acho ezvinhu awedzere kuburikidza nekugonesa doro.
Kubvumira kunotsanangurwa sekuita zvinhu kune doro izvo zvavanogona uye vaizozviita ivo pachavo kana vakangwarira. Kusiyana, kubatsira kune kuita chimwe chinhu icho doro raisakwanisa kana chaisazozviitira ivo pachavo kana chisina kunaka. Kubatsira hakudziviriri doro kubva pamigumisiro yezvaanoita.
Chero chipi nechipi chamunoita icho chinodzivirira doro kana chidhakwa kubva pamigumisiro yezvaanoita, zvinogona kumubatsira kuti anonoke kusarudza kuwana rubatsiro kune dambudziko ravo. Nokudaro, zviri mune zvakanakisisa zvechidhakwa , munguva refu, kana iwe ukarega chero chauri kuita kuti uvabatsire.
Kubvumira hakubatsiri.
Nzira Yekudzivisa Kuita Doro Nezvinodhaka kana Zvinodhaka
Iwe unogona kuona panguva ino kuti wakanga uchiita kuti mudiwa wako ane doro (kunyange iwe zvichida waifunga kuti uri kubatsira) uye unoshamisika kuti ungashandura sei. Nenzira imwe neimwe, kudzidza kudzivisa kuita kuti munhu anodhakwa kana kuti zvinodhaka arikupa simba.
Hatigoni kuchinja vamwe vanhu, asi isu tinogona kuchinja maitiro edu nemaitiro kune avo vanhu. Pano pane nzira dzakawanda dzinobatsira dzaunogona kumira kuva mhizha nhasi.
(Mumienzaniso iyi tinogona kushandisa iye kana, asi doro rinogona kuva murume kana mukadzi, mudzimai, mubereki, mwana, imwe hama, mushandi pamwe chete kana shamwari.)
Rega Kuita Chero Chinobvumira Vanodhakwa Kuti Vafambe Nemaitiro Avo Emazuva Ano
Uri kushanda uye kubhadhara zvimwe zvezvikwereti izvo doro raizenge riri kubhadhara dai asina kurasikirwa nebasa rake kana kuti akarasikirwa nenguva kubva kubasa nekuda kwekunwa? Kana kuti uri kupa doro rekudhakwa uye pokugara here? Kana zvakadaro, iwe unogona kunge uchigonesa. Iwe uri kumupa "kuchengetedzwa kwemambure" anomubvumira kurasikirwa kana kubvarura basa rake pasina mhinduro chaiyo.
Usaita chinhu che "Kubatsira" Doro ravaigona kana Raizoita Kana Usingadi
Kana mudhakwa akarega kurairirwa, achimupa kutasva kumusangano weAA kana kubvunzurudzwa kwebasa iri kubatsira nekuti icho chinhu chaasingakwanisi kuzviitira. Asi, kutarisa purogiramu yemisangano munzvimbo iyi, kutsvakurudza zvinodiwa kuti uwane chiremba chake zvakare, kana kutsvaga zviziviso zvakasarudzwa pamabasa emabasa zvinhu izvo doro rinofanira kuzviitira iye pachake.
Rega Kureva, Kuvhara, Kana Kuita Zvikonzero zveDhakwa
Wati wambotaurirana here: "Ndine urombo, haakwanisi kuuya mubasa nhasi, iye atora rumwe rudzi rwechirwere bug?" apo pazviri chaizvo iye anoramba achingoenda kubasa? Kukurukurirana kwakadaro kunobatsira nokuti kuri kubvumira doro kusaguma migumisiro yezviito zvake. Iwe ungati, "Asi, aigona kurasikirwa nebasa rake!" Kurasikirwa nebasa rake kungangova chinhu chinofanira kuitika kwaari kuti asarudze kuwana rubatsiro.
Usatora Mitoro kana Mabasa Anokodzera Kunwa Doro
Uri kuita mamwe emabasa epoteredza imba iyo doro raishandiswa kuita?
Wakambotora mabasa ekurera vana nevana vako avo vaviri vaigara muchigovana? Kana iwe uri kuita chero chinhu icho chidhakwa chaive chichiita kudai chakanga chakanyanyisa, iwe uri munzira iyo inoita kuti iye arege kuita mabasa ake.
Usapa kana kupa mari inodhaka
Kana uri kupa mari kumunhu ane doro nokuda kwechikonzero chipi nechipi, iwe unogonawo kunge uchienda muchitoro chewaini uye unotenga bhaze rake kwaari. Uye hongu, kutenga hupenzi kwaari kunobatsira. Ndizvo zvauri kuita pakupedzisira kana iwe ukapa mari inodhakwa, pasinei zvavanotaura vanoronga kuita nemari.
Usati "Kununura" Doro Nekumubvisa kunze kweJeri kana Kubhadhara Mari Yake
Kushingaira kununura doro kunogutsa chimwe chido chako iwe unofanirwa kunzwa "uchida," asi haibatsiri chaizvo mamiriro acho ezvinhu. Inongoita kuti munhu anenge achinwa doro asadzivirire migumisiro yezviito zvake. MuAinon, vanoritumidza kuti "kuisa mitsipa pasi pavo" kuitira kuti vasambonzwa kurwadziwa kwezvikanganiso zvavo.
Usatsiura, Kurwisana, kana Kuramba Uine Doro
Iwe unogona kufunga kuti kana iwe uri kupopota kana kukwidza doro nekuda kwechiitiko chake chazvino, kuti hachisi chinhu chinogonesa, asi chinogona kuva. Kana chikonzero chaicho chete chinotambura nokuda kwezviito zvake zvishomanana "kutaura kwemashoko" kubva kune mumwe munhu ane hanya naye, anokwanisa kutarisa pasina kutarisana nemigumisiro inokosha.
Usapindirana Nezvokupedzisira Zvisina Kuipa-Izvi Zvinomutendera Kupindura Zvaunofunga Pane Pane Zvaanoita
Kana iwe uchitaura kana kuita chimwe chinhu chisina kunaka mukupindura kunodhakwa kwemazuva ano, ipapo doro rinogona kuita pane zvamunoita. Kana iwe ukaramba wakanyarara, kana iwe uchienderera mberi nehupenyu hwako sekunge pasina chakaitika, ipapo doro rinosara risina chaunopindura kunze kwezvaanoita. Kana iwe uchiita zvisina kunaka, iwe uri kumupa iye manzwiro.
Usaedza Kunwa Nezvinwiwa
Nhengo dzakawanda dzemhuri, dzichinzwa dzakasiyiwa newadhakwa nekuda kweshamwari yake-doro nedoro, dzakaedza kuva chikamu chenyika yake zvakare nekuedza kunwa naye. Inowanzoshanda. Ushamwari hwechidhakwa newaini hunyengeri, hunofadza uye hune simba. "Vanwiwa vanowanzo" havawanzoiti.
Ita Zvikwereti uye Ubatisise Kwavari-Regai Kuita Zvinotyisidzira
Achiti, "Kana usingaregi kunwa, ini ndichasiya!" iyo inogadziriswa uye inotyisidzira, asi ichiti, "Handisi kuzonwa mumusha mangu" iri kuisa muganhu. Iwe haugoni kudzora kana mumwe munhu achirega kunwa kana kwete, asi iwe unogona kusarudza kuti ndeupi mararamiro aunogamuchira kana asingagamuchiri muupenyu hwako.
Nyatsotsanangurira kune Dorowa Zvidimbu Zvawakagadza-Uye Tsanangura Kuti Zvikamu Zviri Kwauri, Kwete Kwake
Chimwe chinhu icho nhengo dzeAl-Anon dzinodzidza ndechokuti havachafaniri kubvuma maitiro asina kugamuchirwa muupenyu hwavo. Iwe unogona kusakwanisa kudzora mararamiro omumwe munhu, asi iwe une zvisarudzo pazvinouya pane zvaunowana zvisagamuchirwa. Kuisa miganhu chimwe chinhu chaunoita kuti ubatsirwe, kwete kuedza kudzora umwe munhu. Kuti uite izvi zvinobudirira, zvinobatsira kuziva kune imwe nzvimbo. Kuchengeta kuri kurega kuenda kune dambudziko reumwe munhu uye kunokubvumira kuti uone zvakanyanya mamiriro acho ezvinhu.
Mushure mokunge maverenga nezvenyaya iyi, munogona kunge makatoona nzira dzave mave muchiita kuti mudiwa wenyu awedzere kudhakwa. Kana iwe uchiri kushamisika, edza kutora mibvunzo yedu: "Uri Kubvumira Doro kana Kuti Mishonga?"
Apo Iwe Rega Kuve Nesimba
Kazhinji apo hurumende inobvumira doro inobviswa, kutya kunovamanikidza kuti vatsvake rubatsiro, asi hapana mavimbiso. Izvi zvinogona kunge zvakaoma zvikuru kugamuchira.
Tora nguva yekudzidza zvakawanda nezvekugonesa uye chirwere chemhuri chekudhakwa , enda kune musangano weAl-Anon munharaunda yako. Zvinogonawo kubatsira kudzidza zvizhinji pamusoro pezviwanikwa uye ruzivo runowanika kumhuri inobatwa nekudhakwa .
Kupinda Al-Anon mumunhu kuchakubatsira kunzwa uwedzerwa simba apo iwe unomira uchigonesa, uye iwe pachako uri woga mukuita. Zvinosuruvarisa, hapana mumwe wedu anogona kudzora izvo mumwe achaita. Asi isu tine simba rekuisa miganhu nekuremekedza upenyu hwedu. Hezvino zvinhu gumi zvekurega kuitei kana iwe uchida doro rinogona kukubatsira kuti udzose hupenyu hwako iwe kana kwete iwe doro rako rinorega kunwa.
> Sources:
> National Institute of Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism. Zvinokonzerwa nekudhakwa pamhuri nemhuri - Al-Anon anobvunzurudzwa naDeorge Koob. https://www.niaaa.nih.gov/file/impacts-alcoholism-family-members-and-friends-al-anon-interview-dr-george-koob
> S., Van Wormer Katherine, uye Diane Rae. Davis. Addiction Treatment: A Strengths Perspective. Belmont, CA., Brooks / Cole Pub. Co., 2012.