Dzidza kuvimbisa uye unzwe kuchema kuti ubatsirwe
Ushamwari nomumwe munhu ane borderline person disorder (BPD) haisi nyore nguva dzose. Panogona kuva nenguva apo shamwari yako inonzwa isisina tariro kana kuti isingagoni kudzora, zvichiita kuti iwe unzwe usisina simba zvakare. Heano mamwe mazano aunogona kutevera kuti uve shamwari yakanaka kune mumwe munhu ane BPD .
Zivisai Zvakaitika Mudiwa Wemuganhu Wemuganhu
Chinhu chinonyanya kukosha chaungaita kuti ubatsire shamwari neBPD ndeyekutora nguva yekuteerera uye kugutsikana manzwiro ake .
Iwe haungabvumirane kubvumirana nekuongorora kwake mamiriro ezvinhu kana kunzwa kuti kuwedzera kwemanzwiro ake kunonzwisiswa nemamiriro ezvinhu (zvakasimba kugadzirisa maitiro chikamu chechirwere). Zvisinei, iwe unogona kumuudza kuti iwe unonzwisisa kuti anonzwa sei uye kuti zvakaoma sei.
Kugamuchira kuvimbiswa kubva kune mumwe munhu kunogona kupa rubatsiro rwakakura kumunhu ane BPD. Vanhu vazhinji vane BPD vakakurira mumamiriro ezvinhu ekuvhiringidzika mupfungwa uye vanotarisira kuti hakuna munhu anotarisira manzwiro avanoita. Vamwe vanhu vane BPD havana kukura munharaunda yakashata yemanzwiro. Nemhaka yehutano hwechirwere, zvisinei, vave vakajaira kune vanhu vachivaudza kuti vari kunyanya kuora mwoyo. Saka, kuva nemumwe munhu anonyanya kufunga nezvekunzwa kwavo kunogona kuva nesimba.
Dzidzidzise Pamusoro pehutano hwehutano hwevanhu
Kana uine shamwari ine BPD , zvakakosha zvikuru kudzidzisa iwe pamusoro pehutano.
Ushamwari hwevanhu vane BPD hunogona kuva dombo, uye iwe unoda kuziva zvaunotarisira.
Dzimwe nguva, vanhu vane BPD vanoita maitiro anoita seanoita seanoita zvinhu, achishuva-akasvinura, kana kuparadza. Zvakakosha kunzwisisa chirwere ichi kuitira kuti iwe ugone kuziva maitiro aya kune zvaari izvo: zviratidzo zvekushungurudzika kwomukati wako.
Kunzwisisa kuti maitiro aya haafaniri kukuvadza iwe angakubatsira iwe kuvaka urombo huzhinji kune shamwari yako.
Sotsigira Miitiro Yadzo Kuti Uwane Rubatsiro Rwebasa
Kazhinji hazvibudiriri kuedza kumanikidzira shamwari yako kuti iwane rubatsiro rwezvenyanzvi , pasinei nokuti inonyanya kuidikanwa sei (imwechete iyo ndeye kana mamiriro ezvinhu anononoka achibuda, verenga pamusoro pezvaunofanira kuita mumatambudziko ).
Zvisinei, unogona kumutsigira paanosarudza kuwana rubatsiro. Izvi zvinogona kureva kuudza shamwari yako kuti unodada naye nekukumbira rubatsiro kana kuti iwe unofunga kuti izvi zvinoshingaira. Anogonawo kutoda mamwe marudzi ekutsigira (zvakadai sokukwira kumisangano, kushanyira muchipatara). Chero zvaunoita, zvinoreva zvakawanda kune shamwari yako kuziva kuti uri shure kwake.
Usarega Zvimwe Zvinokuvadza
Kuzvidzivirira kuzviuraya uye zviratidzo zvakajairika kune vanhu vane BPD. Vamwe vanhu vane BPD vanoita zvinopisa kuzviuraya, izvo zvinotungamirira mhuri yavo neshamwari kuti vatsvake tsika idzi.
Zvisinei, kunyange kana shamwari yako yakazvipira kuzviuraya munguva yakapfuura pasina kuedza kuzviuraya , vanhu vane BPD vari pangozi yakakura yekuedza uye yekupedzisa kuzviuraya. Ichokwadi, vanenge 10 kubva muzana yevanhu vane BPD vanopedza kuzviuraya .
Nokuda kwechikonzero ichi, kunyange kana iwe usingafungi kuti achazviita zvirokwazvo, usambofa wakanganwa mungozi yekuzviuraya . Pane kudaro, danai vashandi vanokurumidza (zvakadai se "911" muUnited States neCanada) chero nguva iwe unotenda kune ngozi iyo shamwari yako inogona kuzvikuvadza. Siyai kune vashandi kuti vaone kana kune ngozi yakakura yekukuvara.
Zvibate zvakanaka
Dzimwe nguva ushamwari nevanhu vane BPD vanove vasina unhu hwakanaka, uye iwe unozviwana uchipa kupfuura iwe unogamuchira. Kana izvi zvichiitika nguva nenguva, kazhinji zvakanaka. Iyi ndiyo nzira iyo hukama hunoshanda; havagoni kugara vari 50-50 split. Asi kana izvi zviri kuitika nguva dzose, zvichaita dambudziko muhukama.
Kutsvakurudza kwakaratidza kuti shamwari nemhuri inotarisira vanhu vane BPD vane marefu ekuvenga, kushushikana, kuora mwoyo, nekusavimba. Kana iwe ukapa zvakawanda, unogona kutanga kunzwa uchinetseka kana kupiswa. Mushure mechinguva, iwe unogona kusvika kusvika pakuti iwe unoda kugumisa hukama hwehutano hwako.
Mune nguva yakareba, zvichida zvakanyanya kubatsira kune munhu ane BPD kuva neshamwari yakasimba, yakavimbika kupfuura kuva neshamwari ari 100 muzana ikoko kwemwedzi mishomanana ndokubva yanyangarika nokusingaperi. Nokuda kwechikonzero ichi, zvakakosha kuti iwe uzvichengete iwe pachako, tora mapfupa kubva kune shamwari yako kana zvichidiwa, uye uite miganhu yakanaka kuti iwe ugone kuwana zvaunoda zvizadziswe.
Zvose izvi zviri nyore kutaura pane kuita. Inoda unyanzvi hwekukurukurirana uye kuzviziva kwakakwana kuti unzwisise kana yava nguva yekudzosa zvishoma. Zvisinei, zvinokwanisika kuva noukama hurefu kwenguva refu nemumwe munhu ane BPD kana ukashanda pairi.
Sources:
American Psychiatric Association. "Itai Mazano Ekurapa Kwevarwere vane Borderline Personality Disorder." American Journal of Psychiatry , 158: 1-52, 2001.
Kreger R. The Essential Family Guide kune Borderline Personality Disorder . Centre City, Minnesota: Hazelden, 2008.
Scheirs JGM, Bok S. "Kushungurudzika Kwepfungwa paVatarisiri kana Hama dzevarwere vane Borderline Personality Disorder." International Journal ye Social Psychiatry , 53 (3): 195-203, 2007.